What is Authentic Relating?
Authentic Relating is an emergent, open-source relational practice and global movement focused on cultivating genuine human connection through present-moment awareness, emotional transparency, and skillful communication. The practice encompasses three primary modalities: Circling (a facilitated group process of sustained relational attention), Authentic Relating Games (structured exercises for connection), and informal authentic relating (applying principles in everyday life without explicit agreement). At its core, Authentic Relating trains practitioners to notice and share their immediate experience, respond to others with curiosity rather than reactivity, and navigate vulnerability as a pathway to intimacy and understanding.
Unlike therapeutic modalities or communication frameworks, Authentic Relating is fundamentally experiential. Practitioners develop what advocates call “relational intelligence”—the capacity to remain present with one’s own inner experience while simultaneously tracking the experience of others and the dynamic field between them. The practice emphasizes leading with vulnerability, welcoming all emotions and impulses without attempting to fix or change them, and recognizing that authentic connection arises from revealing what is actually present rather than performing an idealized version of oneself.
Origins & Lineage
The formal practice known as Circling—the foundational modality within Authentic Relating—emerged in 1998 in the San Francisco Bay Area when Guy Sengstock and Jerry Candelaria created the Arete Experience, an intensive weekend combining holotropic breathwork with relational group work. Sengstock, an artist, philosopher, and bodyworker, and Candelaria, then working toward becoming a Landmark Forum leader, had a transformative experience at Burning Man in August 1998 that catalyzed their commitment to develop the practice. They incorporated as The Arete Center for Human Excellence in 1999.
Independently, Bryan Bayer and Decker Cunov had discovered similar practices as early as the mid-1990s while resolving household conflicts in Missouri. In 2003, Bayer and Cunov connected with Sengstock and Candelaria, training with them and subsequently developing what became known as the Integral style of Circling at the Boulder Integral Center (established under the direction of philosopher Ken Wilber). In 2004, Bayer and Cunov founded the Authentic Man Program, which applied Circling principles to intimate relationships and gained international reach through DVD training series.
Key organizational developments include the founding of the Circling Institute in the Bay Area by Guy Sengstock and Alexis Shepperd (circa 2005), the establishment of major communities in Austin, Texas by Sara Ness and Jordan Allen (2012), and the creation of ART International by Jason Digges and Ryel Kestano (2017). The movement drew influence from Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), encounter groups (Carl Rogers), Gestalt therapy (Fritz Perls), integral theory (Ken Wilber), Buddhist mindfulness practices, and the human potential movement of the 1960s.
In 2020, the term “Circling” was trademarked, creating controversy within the community. “Authentic Relating” remains an open-source term, ensuring the practice’s accessibility and decentralized evolution.
How It’s Practiced
Authentic Relating manifests in three primary forms. Circling involves 4-10 participants sitting together, typically focusing sustained attention on one person (called a “birthday circle”) or exploring the relational dynamics among all present. A trained facilitator supports the group in staying present, noticing sensations and impulses, and sharing observations about what it’s like to be with each person. Sessions typically last 60-90 minutes and cultivate skills like “getting someone’s world” (deep empathic listening), “sharing impact” (honest vulnerability), and “speaking the moment” (articulating immediate experience).
Authentic Relating Games are short, structured exercises (typically 5-30 minutes) designed to create connection through specific prompts or formats. The Authentic Relating Games Manual, compiled by Sara Ness and the global AR community, contains over 150 games. Examples include “Noticing” (participants share present-moment sensory, emotional, and cognitive experiences), “Hot Seat” (one person receives questions and reflections from the group), and various curiosity-based paired exercises. Games are categorized by function: curiosity practices, truth-telling exercises, self-reflection activities, and awareness-building challenges.
Informal Authentic Relating applies the principles—leading with vulnerability, staying present, welcoming experience, offering quality attention—to everyday relationships without formal structure or explicit agreement. This represents the integration phase where practitioners bring relational skills into friendships, partnerships, family dynamics, and professional contexts.
Common principles across modalities include: remaining connected to bodily sensation and emotional experience; prioritizing connection over content; approaching others with curiosity rather than judgment; accepting that all participants “outlive our concepts” of them; and trusting that people naturally move toward wholeness when given presence and care.
Authentic Relating Today
As of 2026, Authentic Relating has grown into a global movement with 100+ communities across six continents and six primary training schools. Practitioners can encounter Authentic Relating through weekly drop-in Circling sessions (both online and in-person), weekend intensives, year-long facilitator trainings, and self-study programs. Major organizations include the Circling Institute (founded by Guy Sengstock), Transformational Connection (Europe), ART International (global), The Relateful Company (online platform serving thousands), Authentic Revolution (founded by Sara Ness), and numerous regional centers.
Over 10,000 people have completed formal weekend courses in Circling or Authentic Relating. The practice has expanded beyond personal growth into business leadership, therapeutic contexts, educational institutions, and even prison rehabilitation through organizations like the Realness Project. Weekly online Circling sessions make the practice accessible regardless of geographic location, with platforms like The Relateful Company hosting 30+ sessions weekly.
Key texts include Authentic Relating Games Manual (Sara Ness), Authentic Relating: A Guide to Rich, Meaningful, Nourishing Relationships (Ryel Kestano), Conflict = Energy: The Transformative Practice of Authentic Relating (Jason Digges), and Circling and Authentic Relating Practice Guide (Marc Beneteau). The Atlantic featured Authentic Relating in 2017, bringing mainstream attention to the movement.
Common Misconceptions
Authentic Relating is not group therapy, though it may have therapeutic effects. There is no pathology model, diagnosis, or treatment plan; the focus is developmental rather than remedial. It is not simply “radical honesty” or unfiltered expression—practitioners cultivate discernment about what serves connection versus what serves ego or habit.
The practice is not about “being yourself” in the pop-psychology sense. As facilitators note, we all have multiple selves and habitual patterns that may block connection. Authentic Relating involves becoming aware of how we’re being in relationship and making conscious choices about how to show up.
It is not a club for “baring your soul to strangers” (despite media portrayals). While vulnerability is central, the deeper aim is developing relational capacity that transfers to all relationships—especially those that matter most. Critics within the movement caution against treating Authentic Relating events as a “special world” disconnected from ordinary life; the practice’s full value emerges when integrated into everyday relating.
Authentic Relating is not trademarked or proprietary (though “Circling” is). The movement intentionally developed in an open-source, decentralized manner, allowing diverse expressions and preventing single-organization control.
How to Begin
Start by attending a local Authentic Relating Games night or drop-in Circling session. Visit the Authentic Revolution worldwide community map (authrev.com/worldwide-connection) to find groups in your area, or join online sessions through The Relateful Company or Circling Institute. Most introductory events require no prior experience and welcome beginners.
For self-study, read Authentic Relating Games Manual by Sara Ness (available by donation) or Authentic Relating: A Guide to Rich, Meaningful, Nourishing Relationships by Ryel Kestano. Watch introductory videos from Sara Ness, Guy Sengstock, or the Circling documentary series “What it’s like to be you, right now?” for visceral understanding of the practice.
Begin practicing informally by noticing your present-moment experience in conversations, sharing something vulnerable rather than performative, and asking genuine questions about others’ inner worlds. Simple practices like naming your sensations (“I notice my chest feels tight”) or sharing impact (“When you said that, I felt warmth in my heart”) begin building relational capacity immediately.
For structured learning, weekend intensives like Aletheia (Boulder), Art of Circling trainings (Circling Institute), or online courses through Authentic Revolution and ART International offer immersive introduction to principles and practices. Year-long facilitator trainings are available for those called to teach the work.
